As winter fully begins, my CIT Drawing classes come to an end and assessments are due...

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Assessment 1: Build a portfolio from artworks created in your previous lessons to demonstrate the skills you learned. 

The only trouble building a portfolio is that my inattentive ADHD brain forgot the order of those lessons that demonstrated what skills exactly?

 I know I got better at drawing and art, but what was I supposed to be learning? The curse of ADHD strikes again.

 

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​​​​​​​​​Assessment 2: Create a major artwork with the theme of Unlikely. Minimum requirements for this assessment state that it be larger than an A3 size piece of paper (30cmx42cm) or multiple smaller pieces that make up roughly an A3 size. A major university artwork requires more than 15 hours of solid work. From what I can remember being told it’s something like 20 hours of practical and research on a single project centred around the theme unlikely.

The inattentive hyperactive part of me easily draws my attention from one task to another, rather like a child chasing butterflies. A 20 hour project is almost always impossible to accomplish. However, I can occasionally get cornered into actually focusing but only on what I want and what I see interesting. Hopefully a major artwork will be enough to focus my energy.

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Although I’ve been cornered into producing a main artwork, the idea of a deadline still unnerves me. It’s a concept I don’t entirely understand or enjoy; that your final product must be presented, up to a standard you didn’t set, on a given day, not of your choosing.

And yet, working through my assessments, I come across the thought that perhaps this lifestyle is the most unusual creation. Three months, maybe more of living in a tiny apartment with a small dog named Coco for company. 

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​​​​​​And now, along with assessments I strive to correctly estimate and plan a rent-friendly budget built around the fortnightly Centrelink DSP. 

 

Perhaps it’s time I gave myself a little grace and loosened up a little bit. Yesterday marked the day I decided that CIT was not meant for me anymore, and the day I resigned from Drawing1 classes. Now I can create art without stress or anxiety, simply because I enjoy it. 

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​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Yet when one problem is solved another must always appear. It may seem months away, but it takes months of planning and organising to ensure I can return home for the Christmas break. There are carers to find, rosters to change, and equipment to pack (in a regular car!) 

Then, once at home, travel costs for carers (from a neighbouring town) need to be factored into our weekly budget. An extra issue is holiday rates, something like twice the hourly rates. 

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In times like this, when my life seems so unusual, I try to remember Mortisha Adams, who once said; 

“Normal is an illusion - what is normal to the spider, is chaos to the fly.”